Essay 1: Birthplace, Home and an Identity.

          One's home is perhaps the most crucial aspect of one forming an identity. As you are young, you take up aspects of your country and general culture into an ever growing outlook that is one's life. However, conflict occurs when your birth place and the country you spend your life in aren't the same. Through out my teen years, I felt a sense of never being a full Nigerian. Whether it be my 'oyinbo' way of speaking, my disinterest in Nigerian language or my interests never falling into football, I have always felt a certain disconnect from my Nigerian upbringing, that maybe I wasn't fully Nigerian, maybe my correct place was in my birth place, America. I feel for many who are born in one country but live in another, they might be experiencing similar feelings as I did and through this essay I want to explore the possible conflicts and how one can deal with their cultural identity.

    I was born in America but lived in Nigeria most of my early life till my family moved to Aberdeen for about 3 years, moving back to Nigeria afterwards. This first contact with a world different from my own was most likely gave me perspective about my identity. It wasn't like my parents had dramatically revealed to me that I was actually born in America, I had always known. Living in Aberdeen, however, really changed my worldview, people skills and my personality so coming back to Nigeria was a culture shock. We had moved to Lagos, a state I was barely familiar with, and I didn't help that school just made me feel isolated. Different people, with different interests from me, who'd lived most of their lives there. Despite the fact that I was undeniably from Nigerian, it wasn't something state proudly at the time. I felt that, despite not living there, I could easily call myself an American, that my identity could fit in better with the cultural melting pot of America than Nigeria. There's a part of those feelings that came from my insecurities regarding not fitting in but also with a disagreement in values that came from Nigeria. 

    Having both a Western and Nigerian perspective brings values from the both of perspectives that clash. For example, Nigeria, a relatively newer country brought up in religion, has very negative views regarding the LGBT than the US as seen through the ire Bobrisky, a transgender influencer from Nigeria, has received from the general public, for the "crime" of being trans. Or how Nigeria has more emphasis based on one's family, which has lead to potentially abusive behavior being excused because "They're your family." All this isn't saying that everyone in Nigeria believes this, more so that Nigeria has a lot more conservative values that I just don't agree with. But it raised a question to me: "If you don't agree with the values set up in your home country and feel isolated from the people of said country, are you truly a person of that country?" Well, I'd say I am.

    Despite all my issues with my identity, it wouldn't feel right to just throw where I am from and the place I have lived the longest out of the window. A lot of people I've made connections with over the years are almost all from Nigeria. But to say I am only Nigerian would ignore the fact I was literally born in America. So yeah, conflicting. That's a word that comes up a lot regarding these topics and it's one that applies very well with my national identity. Am I an American living in Nigeria or a Nigerian with an American viewpoint and worldview?  Or a mix of both? Am I somehow all of these ideas in regards to my identity? 

     Cultural identity can be a bit of mess for many who are from various backgrounds. However, I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to juggle these identities into your worldview. They can be very contradicting but taking them away from yourself is just limiting who you can truly be. While these cultural identities are an aspect of oneself, I think keeping them as above or more important than your wants or needs can be a somewhat damaging mindset. You're your own person first and you should always prioritize that over feeling like you don't live up to your culture. Either way, I feel that balance of these identities is something that many should strive to have.  

 (749 words)


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